I have been avoiding an update for some time because I have something to say that is very hard for me to admit. However, I am realizing that my thoughts are very normal thoughts and it might be important for me to share, so here goes…. I am generally a pretty positive and optimistic person and my doctors are VERY confident in my treatment, but I have some fear… ok sometimes a lot of fear that my cancer will return someday and threaten my life. I will say that I try not to get down about this or even focus on it every second of every day, but the truth is it is always in the back of my mind and it doesn’t take much to bring it out. So much to the point that I can no longer read stories in the news about cancer, I don’t like it when people tell me stories about others with cancer unless there is a happy ending, and I no longer like watching TV and movies because there are so many cancer references. It seems like the very word “cancer” has consumed every part of my world so I’ve decided that I need to make a change and it starts right now.
There is an even bigger truth out there; a cancer diagnosis doesn’t have to be a death sentence. Let’s say it again. A CANCER DIAGNOSIS DOESN’T HAVE TO BE A DEATH SENTENCE. In fact it isn’t in many cases. In the past few days I have heard so many stories of people who were diagnosed with cancer even 20-25 years ago and they are still living cancer-free after treatment. So I have decided that these stories are what I am going to focus on from now on. These stories are going to inspire and fuel my own fight because I want to be able to tell my story 25 years from now, which leads to my point. A few days ago a dear friend of mine suggested we make a pact. She said that she would never get cancer again, if I promised that I would also never get cancer again. This is such an amazing pact that I felt I needed to share it. From now I am going to let this great phase take over my thought process and crush my fears. I am going to repeat it to myself every time a fear pops into my mind and I am going to keep fighting.
So to all of you who are staying positive and kicking cancer’s ass, thank you for being my inspiration.