Moving past the fear of getting “too close”, and learning to be “at peace” with saying goodbye. When you’re diagnosed with something as scary as cancer a external transformation obviously happens as you progress through treatments and surgeries, however what those who haven’t experienced it personally may not realize is that an internal transformation also happens as well. In a sense you almost become a super human version of yourself. Every sense, every feeling, every fear, and every perception is heightened to the max and you are all of a sudden aware of everything around you to an extreme you have never experienced… the good and the bad. I have come to accept this transformation as a gift. Unlike most, I now see the beauty in even the dreariest days, I appreciate the littlest moments, and I take the time to be grateful for each and every day I have here, however there was a point about half way through my treatment where this transformation put me in a very fragile emotional state and almost made me withdraw from everything that I am and everyone that I cared about. I even withdrew from “My Personal Pink Time” for a while. I never thought I would actually explain why, however the conformation of some news that I have been dreading, has left me with a need to share.