On To the Next Phase

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For nearly 7 months now I have spent at least part of almost everyday at Lemmon Holton Cancer Pavilion but I’m happy to announce that as of today, I am officially done with my hardest treatment phases (chemo and radiation). I am still feeling the effects of the treatment fatigue, my chest, underarm, and back are quite burned from radiation and I am having some pain and mobility loss in my left arm, wrist, and fingers but otherwise I am actually doing quite well and my doctors are very pleased with how I have come out of all of this. At this point, we are really hoping the pain and loss of mobility in my arm are from the 28 radiation treatments that I had, however my Radiation Oncologist is sending me to the Lymphedema Clinic at LH to make sure it’s not the start of Lymphedema. Fingers crossed it is from radiation and it will not be something that I will always have to deal with.

If all goes well with that appointment, I will only be going back to LH for my doctors appointments and monthly injections, which means I will no longer be spending my days in the hospital. (Insert big smile) I will admit that I am a little uneasy saying that I am done with treatment because I have not had and do not really know if I will have a scan to confirm that the treatment did in deed, rid my body of the cancer cells that were left after surgery, but I am trying to be positive and believe that the cancer is gone and out of my body forever.

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In some ways it is hard to believe that 8 months have already passed and my hardest treatments are complete. Yet at the same time it feels as if time has literally stood still since February 16th when I received my diagnosis and my life forever changed. It’s a hard thought to put into words but it’s almost as if I have been frozen in time on this horrible treatment carousal while the seasons changed and life went on around me. Now I have jumped off head first and I am trying my best to figure out how to actually be present and live life again. I want more then anything to learn how to live, laugh, and have fun again and I am doing my absolute best to forget that awful and scary “c” word that will forever be lurking in my mind.

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Although these past months have been the hardest days of my life, I do feel that I am coming out of this phase a stronger and better person. I have learned just how strong I am, and most importantly I have learned to appreciate even the littlest of things in life. For now I am going to take some time to recover and get back to me before I start my the next phase…surgeries.

 

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