I have tried to clean out my bra drawer several times over the past year. Each time I pulled the bras out of the drawer, organized them by size and color and bagged them up, just to stare at them blankly, dump them back into the drawer, and walk away. I honestly didn’t even realize I was doing it, but this past week, I faced the reality that I will never wear these bras again, took a deep breath and said goodbye.
The truth is I have been stuck in mastectomy bras that hold a prosthetic, ever since my first surgery last March, so these pretty little garments are no longer of use to me. Although this task seems pretty small, it was a whole lot harder then I thought it would be. It’s really not about the bras, or even the fact that I will never wear them again, but every time I had to push these little pretties aside to look for my, less then attractive, mastectomy bras, that tiny little voice in my head said “oh yeah, that really happened. I really had breast cancer and I am no longer like young women my age. I no longer have a use for feminine products, and I can no longer shop for, or wear cute little Victoria Secret bras. Rather then complaining about monthly cycles with friends my age, I commiserate with my mom about hot flashes, and I shop for and try bras on in a hospital boutique, in front of a medical professional specializing in post mastectomy garments. Which is fun let me tell you 🙂
In a way I think I was subconsciously trying to hold on to a little bit of my former self by refusing to get rid of these, but letting go is good sometimes. The reality is; these bras now serve as a reminder of another “normalcy” that I took for granted before it was taken from me…. so they must go!
I capitalized on the Victoria Secret Semi-Annual Sale in the weeks before my diagnosis so some of these bras have never been worn. If you know of anyone who could make use of a bag full of 32B and 34B bras let me know 🙂